


Five Gods: Gabriel

by ilien



Series: Five Gods [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-23
Updated: 2011-09-23
Packaged: 2017-10-23 23:51:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilien/pseuds/ilien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel is not exactly who they thought he was. Again.</p><p>Also, it's a 6.22 fix, in a way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Gods: Gabriel

**Author's Note:**

> One of the two parts that were too big for the original "Five Gods" fic. They didn't fit, but I still don't want to get rid if them.

“...or I shall destroy you.”

In the dead silence that followed, first thing they heard was a snap of fingers behind Dean. Immediately after that, Castiel screamed and fell to his knees, covering his face with his hands.

“Well, enough is enough” they heard a familiar voice, “You kids totally don’t get it.”

Gabriel. A dead archangel was standing right behind Dean with a lollipop in his hand.

“Gabriel!” Sam whispered, “We thought you were...”

“Exaggerated” the archangel interrupted, “All of those rumors always are.”

Castiel moaned. Gabriel looked at him, head cocked, then sighed and kneeled beside him.

“C’mon, it’s not THAT bad, demi-god” he mumbled, “You’re gonna have one hell of a detox, little boy, but it shouldn’t hurt that much right now. Stand up.” He took Castiel’s hand and helped him stand up, then touched the angel’d head.

“Feeling better now?”

Castiel nodded. “I... am sorry?”

“No you’re not. You don’t even understand what you’ve done yet, stupid child. When you ask for a sign, you should fucking look out for it!”

“There was no sign!” Castiel whispered.

“Dean!” Gabriel turned to Dean and sighed, “did you or did you not tell your feathery boyfriend not to do it?”

“He’s not..” the whole situation was as surrealistic as it gets, but that doesn’t mean someone can imply he has a “boyfriend”

“Did you or did you not?” Gabriel interrupted, nearly yelling.

“Yeah, I did. More than once, actually.”

“Well, listen here, idiot.” He turned back to Castiel. “If Dean asking you not to do this was not sign enough for you, I have no bloody idea what the hell would be!”

“I didn’t..” Castiel started.

“That’s right, you didn’t think. One might think I gave you free will but forgot to give brain. I don’t even want to know what part of your body you were thinking with, but it was definitely not the one I’ve originally designated for it.”

“Wait a minute, YOU?” Dean could not help yelling himself. “I thought you were the messenger of the Lord, not his personal body designer?”

Gabriel made an amused face and opened a bag of Skittles. He ate a couple of candies, offered one to Castiel (who pretended not to notice), then signed.

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“We’re... not sure what we have to get” Sam answered.

“You have an idea how I died last time, don’t you? I was killed with an angel blade. By Lucifer. If I had been an archangel, I’d be dead, sweetheart. Lucky for me I’m not.”

“Wait a minute” of course Bobby was the first to get what he implied, “you mean that you’re God?”

“Of course, who else would I be, Mickey Mouse?” Gabriel – God – looked annoyed and amused at the same time. “I really thought you’d figure it out earlier.”

“Okay, but... What happened to the real Gabriel then? Or Loki, or the Trickster, or whatever?" Of course Sam was the one to ask that.

“Again, you don’t get it. I really, really meant for you to be smarter, boys. Free will is bad for your heads.”

“So, enlighten us!” Dean had been pissed both at God and Gabriel before that, but now he was completely mad, “Since when have you been pretending to be your son?”

“Since always, dumbhead! There has never been a Gabriel, he’s always been a trick! At first, he was a way to mess up with Michael and Raphael, they were too serious not to mess with. I figured, Lucifer needed a playmate for his tricks, but wasn’t about to make another child yet, three is a lucky number, isn’t it?”

Dean shrugged – what could he say?

“Well,” God continued, “Later I realized that too many kids would lead to too much noise – even those three could not sit still for a moment, they were always yelling, shouting and demanding something from me. I imagined what it would be like with dozens of them... and decided not to show up to them. Not in my true form, anyway. Gabriel, delivering “messages from the Lord”, was good enough.”

“And then you got, like, totally fed up with it and decided to hide Gabriel as well?”

“Exactly, Sammy! I knew you were the smart one!”

Dean was about to tell Him all he thinks about gods, archangels and their ideas of fatherhood, but Gabriel interrupted him. “I know, I know. But Dean-o, I never expected everyone to be happy with what I do. It’s not what I made you for.”

“Then what?” Castiel didn’t look so good, “What did You make us for? What purpose did it serve?”

“You obviously haven’t been a God long enough, darling. Oh, actually, you’ve never been a God, but never mind. The point is – being God is lonely. And boring like you can’t imagine. I needed someone to laugh at.”

“So we’re, like, your own TV show or something?”

“Or something, but pretty close, yeah. Listen, Dean, this is all very amusing, honestly, but don’t you think we should take Sam and Cas somewhere more comfortable? The boys aren’t well. Then you can yell at me all you like, deal?”

Dean sighed. God had a point, but somehow he though, that after Cas and Sam are well, he won’t be in a mood for yelling any more.


End file.
